Another wonderful giveway! *LONG*

Crystal over at Biblical Womanhood is giving away 10 TEN copies of a book that I really want. I don't talk about my faith here really, I feel that religion is something very private and personal. I'm going to talk about it a little bit in accordance with this give away, but will probably speak about it a little more at a later date. *Note: this is turning out longer than I intended...I have a point, promise!
I was born and raised a Lutheran. Went to church every Sunday, parochial schools, all of it. I HATED the schools I went to. I never fit in, was always made fun of, etc. And then, I started "living life". At the age of 12 I was raped, at the age of 18 I married a man who was a complete monster and who belittled me and beat me at every opportunity. Those are my two biggies. I'm not saying those to garner sympathy, far from it, just as a matter of reference.
The first event is what really started me questioning my faith-why would God let that happen to me? I didn't tell my parents it had even happened for 5 years, so I couldn't go to them for the spiritual guidance I so desperately needed. It started a downward spiral in my life that continued until after my first husband divorced me. Then I had a house fire.
I was 3 months pregnant with my now 3 year old son. I was single, he was being born out of wedlock, and I also had two other small children to raise. I was lost. The fire occured on a Sunday morning at 6 am. I lost everything but my 3 beautiful boys and their blankies, as well as the pajamas on our backs. Once everything had settled and I was deemed ok by the doctors, it was almost 9 am. I felt a huge need to go to my childhood church. The service started at 10. Just enough time to go with my parents to their home, change into borrowed clothes from my mother and make the first hymn. I sat there that day, covered in soot, with tears streaming down my face-wondering what I was doing with my life, where I was supposed to be heading and what direction God wanted me to take. I prayed that day for the first time in I don't even know how long. I didn't pray for a house, or "things", I prayed for direction. I prayed that God would show me the path he had in mind for me.
Fast forward to a little more than 2 years later. I met my husband. At first glance, you wouldn't think he's the religious type, doesn't go to church every Sunday, he curses, he's not perfect. But he was raised with a grandfather who was a preacher and his reasoning for not going to church-because he feels like a hypocrite. He's lost his way as well. He has faith in his heart, but his-like mine, is hidden by years of discontent, mistreatment, and lack of guidance. Over the last 2 1/2 years since we met, we are both slowly finding our way back. I say slowly, because it's almost...embarassment? I'm ashamed to say, that keeps us from letting it all out. Even now, posting this, I think..well I can just delete it. But...I don't think I will. I need my faith, I need to thank God for leading me to this life I have now where I am cherished and blessed beyond measure.
My point in this LENGTHY post (and thank you so much if you've gotten this far in my ramblings), is that finding the Biblical Womanhood blog really started opening my eyes. Showing me that there are women who live the life that deep in my heart I WANT to live. I want to be a helpmeet to my husband, and have been in my own way, since before Bobby and I even got married. But I want to do better, and more, and ANY hints and tips you other ladies may have are more than welcome in the comments or via email.
Now....Crystal is giving away 10 copies of the book 'Passionate Housewives: Desperate for God'. I NEED this book lol. I'm entering the giveaway of course, and if I don't win it, I will buy it and read it with Bobby. Thank you, again for reading this post if you've gotten this far. This is something that was VERY hard for me to post, and I sincerely hope you aren't annoyed or disenheartened that I posted a brief synopsis of my story. Now go over there and enter it yourself!