Froggy Girl Designs

A glimpse into my daily life of crafting, frugal living, and being a mom!

Friday, January 11, 2008

What's on my mind

Musings of a Housewife said it so much better than I ever could. The trials of watching your child grow up and into a PERSON not just a kid, are hard! My exhusband just moved a bit more "local" so our visitation has been significantly changed in that regard, and with that comes a whole slew of what we lovingly refer to as "attitude adjustments". My oldest son is his father to a T-same long and lean body type, same facial expressions, same temperament to a point, and he does so many of the same things to frustrate me to no end.

The glowing eyes are no indicator of said temperament, those are just a result of a bad photographer (not me never!). I love that kid so much, he is a huge helper to me while Bobby is gone. He's SCARY smart, he's funny and he amazes me everyday with just how big hes gotten. I pray every day that I can guide him into being a good man and I'm so proud I was given the opportunity to be his mom.

Now, dear readers...any thoughts on how to deal with those sullen, flippant, too smart for his own good times where I want to pull my hair out?


  • At 10:59 AM, Anonymous rhino said…

    oh you are so lucky in regards to visitation my ex husband fought long and hard to get visitation with our kids they granted the days months years visititation how often does he come to see them? once a year for a week. how often does he call to get their hopes up? once sometimes twice every two weeks. embrace the fact he is close sure maybe a pain but so is watching your kids cry because daddy or mommy is far away.

  • At 10:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Recognize how smart he is, let him know that is wonderful, special and rare. Make sure he knows (and you recognize that) he is NOT is father, he is his own person, with his own quirks, memories, experiences. He is growing up in an environment that is not the same as what his father grew up in, certainly, and he is so much smarter, and has so much potential. If he can find what is his interest, he can do wonderful things in the world. Encourage that, and don't take it personally when he frustrates you. He's a child, ahead for his age and struggling to make sense of things. He loves you and he wants your approval, love and encouragement. However you feel about his father, don't let the child ever for one second think you are transferring those feelings to him. That will be so destructive long term - you 'loved' his father so much you broke up and kids will think that means you will leave them too if you compare them to their other parent too much. He needs security, knowing that you will love him no matter what. Finally, recognize his intellect as a gift, and know that it is a gift from both sides of the child's family. Having a healthy beautiful son with so much potential and such a bright future ahead of him is a real gift. Focus on that, encourage him, suport him as he developes his own goals, talk to him like he understands more than you wish (because he probably does), and don't get overwhelmed. I've been there, and the choices you make in how to deal with him can have a profound affect on how he values himself and develops self esteem. Good luck.

  • At 6:30 AM, Blogger Hadias said…

    Hey Mika. Thank you for stopping y Proverbswife and sharing a comment on my post "Home Economics 101".

    I wasn't taught htose things by my own mother, but fortunately when I married my husband my MIL, egan teaching me, unbeknownst to me at the time, how to properly care for the home.

    After some years I'd realized how much I didn't know and began collecting everything that I had learned to begin teaching my own daughters.

    Alot of what I blog about pertaining to homemaking has enhanced my relationship with both my children and husband. Having schedules and carrying out tasks in an organized as set a tone in my home for peace.

    If you have any particular interest regarding homemaking browse my archive. And if you have any specific questions just email me.

  • At 10:22 AM, Blogger Mama Keith said…

    I have 2 daughters that are strong willed, strong headed and are complete opposites but love each other so much. I know it is hard raising a strong kid that has a mind of their own, but keep praying and God will help you through it all.

  • At 5:05 PM, Blogger Natalie said…

    Oh wow - you just described my son exactly, including the ex-husband thing! It can be so tough sometimes. But of course also completely amazing. Just hang in there and take care of yourself when you want to rip your hair out. It sounds like you're doing great as a mom! (I just found your blog - I'm on some fabric groups w/you.)

  • At 4:25 PM, Blogger Courtney said…

    I am just giving a ditto to Natalie's comment. I just found your blog, I'm in your Yahoo coop and you have described my 6yr old to the letter. He has the same nerve wracking quirks and mannerisms as the annoying ex. My hubs and I just keep praying and trying our best, by God's grace, to shepherd his heart without breaking his spirit. Hang in there girlie and keep praying!

  • At 7:04 PM, Blogger Beck said…

    Oh, I dunno. My oldest is often sullen and flippant, so if I ever figure her out, I'll let you know my secret.


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